ETRAYA - inbox

[maellum]

Comments

[maellum]

You're right. [But...] I don't think I can choose the side Gustave isn't on. I can't make him feel I'm choosing Verso.

[cache_coeur]

That’s fair. You’ll make the choice that is right for you, and I think you should feel confident in that.

[maellum]

I should feel confident in that... but it doesn't feel good.

[Which feels paradoxical.]

[cache_coeur]

Because you care about Verso too. But he’ll understand; Gustave is your family.

[There’s no way to avoid it, but at least they’re fortunate enough to be in a situation where where both parties want what’s best for Maelle… complicated as it is.]

[maellum]

[They both feel like family. Which feels... insane, in a way, and unfair to Gustave.]

I wish we could all be family.

[cache_coeur]

[Oh, Maelle. She presses her nose into the top of Maelle’s head, hugging her tighter.]

I know you do. I wish you could have it all.

[maellum]

Too greedy, yeah?

[She's got Gustave and Sciel and Lune. That's enough. It should be enough.]

[cache_coeur]

I don’t think it’s greedy to want. It’s just not something anyone can control.

[Her own life would look very different if she could.]

Are you worried you don’t be able to see Verso at all?

[maellum]

... yeah. If... Gustave decides I shouldn't, or Verso just... doesn't want to? It's like you said. It's not something I can control.

[She's not a rebellious teenager. Gustave has her love and her utmost respect. If he doesn't want her to see Verso, she won't. And if Verso doesn't wany anything to do with her, she'll leave him alone.

But she'll miss him. Miss him like she's missed him during this time apart, which she tells herself she can deal with. Been through worse and all that, right?]

[cache_coeur]

[Either seems possible right now, though she doesn’t feel particularly convinced that Maelle can’t sway them to more moderate ground. She looks down at the top of Maelle’s head, still stroking her hair.]

If there’s anything I can do to help, you let me know. I respect wherever Gustave ends up on this, but I’ll do what I can to make it easier.

[maellum]

I don't want you to damage your friendship with Gustave just so I can hang out with someone that might not care to see me. It's not worth it.

[It's easier to assume Verso simply doesn't want to see her.]

[cache_coeur]

I don’t think a modest defence of your wanting to see Verso will spoil my longest friendship.

[She does think it’s unwise for Maelle and Verso to be alone together right now, but explaining to either that they aren’t allowed to feels like it could backfire. A hard no often begs why, and Sciel feels a little twist in her stomach when she considers that Verso might not respect it anyway.]

[maellum]

I don't know. Gustave is strange when it comes to him.

[Or are she and Sciel strange when it comes to Verso?]

I just don't understand. Verso wouldn't hurt me. You know that, right? I can handle myself and him.

[cache_coeur]

[She's not so sure she agrees. Fears about Renoir and his own death aside, it feels true to who Gustave is, and his experience, no matter how much she wishes it was different.]

I know, Maelle. But it hasn't even been a day. Give Gustave some time to work through this, have a good talk with him yourself... Lune and I will both talk with Verso, too... and we'll see from there, hmm?

[maellum]

I guess. Not like anything else can be done and they've already done something stupid all on their own.

[Sorry Gustave and Verso, the sixteen year old is never going to forget this brawl and she absolutely will use it to defend any stupid actions she takes.]

[cache_coeur]

[Sciel groans a little.]

It really was so unbelievably stupid.

[maellum]

They're lucky they both didn't end up going over the side of the building.

[cache_coeur]

Mm. I truly do not want to find out what happens if someone dies here.

[maellum]

I heard something about it. You come back but I guess you forget things? Sounds like a fair trade.

[She would joke Gustave could forget his distaste for Verso, but she'd prefer he not die again.]

Death is a lot less of a worry now, huh? Now our biggest concerns are Verso and Gustave.

[Oh, yeah. And saving Lumière or something.]

[cache_coeur]

[Saving Lumière comes to mind, too, but there's no sense in rubbing Maelle's nose in it. Sciel just holds her, eyes closed.]

Depends on what you forget. Having someone back at the cost of their memory of you or what matters to them is a pretty steep price to pay.

[She'd pay it, for certain things, but for others... would she even be herself anymore?]

[maellum]

Yeah.

[In the silence, it's easy to guess where Maelle's mind goes. If Gustave forgot her, their time together... if he lost his kindness or any of the things that made him him, she wouldn't know what to do.]

Something for us to still avoid.

[cache_coeur]

[Sciel hums her agreement.]

At all costs, I think. Death isn't death anymore, not here.

[maellum]

Which means I should probably eat what you make, lest I waste away.

[Look, she feels a little more human despite the not-so-happy conversation. Maelle snuggles in tighter to Sciel's warmth. She's good at this.]

[cache_coeur]

[She chuckles, not easing up her embrace just yet.]

And we can’t have that! We’ll make sure you’re full of sugar, too.

[maellum]

Sounds like you have a plan.

[If only Sciel could cook without getting out of the bed.]