ETRAYA - inbox

[maellum]

Comments

[maellum]

Okay. Better. Sort of.

Sorry you got dragged into all of that and probably still don't really know what's going on.

[sophielicious]

/Oh, I wasn't dragged. I was asked. You know, I'm exceptionally good at saying 'ew, no' to things.

Don't gotta tell me the whole ordeal if you don't feel like it and I promise I'm not digging. I just wanna know if you're okay./

[maellum]

You seem to be hanging out with Expedition 33 more and more, so it's fair. I'd be curious.

I'm more okay here than I was at home. At home, Gustave is dead. I mean, we all are, but... but he died before the rest of us, and a lot happened in that time. It hasn't been easy.

He's not okay but there's no making up for... anything.

[sophielicious]

/Am I missing anyone? I know you three, that's about it.

Weird thing about being dead but not really, babe? Nothing makes up for anything, nothing is easy, everything fucking sucks, but there's something to be said for making the second, third, or whatever time around meaningful.

Less about making up for, more about moving forward./

[maellum]

Lune arrived here after the last mission. There was Verso, too... but he disappeared. He's actually part of the problem.

I think Gustave feels... replaced? They never met before, I... I met Verso right after he--anyway, he's why we didn't die soon after losing Gustave. So I know Gustave feels like his place on the team was filled and thensome, and maybe... personally, too. Which is... it's not true. It could never be true.

It's complicated. It doesn't help that when Gustave met him here, he found reasons to not trust Verso, and Verso loves to not volunteer information unless he has to, so.

We were doomed from the start.

[sophielicious]

/I did meet a cute French guy on Earth, and his brain isn't pinging to me anymore. Huh. I guess I did meet him, maybe?

Okay, so, first and foremost? Rewind. Did he say that? Like what did you hear from his mouth?/

[maellum]

[Cute??? Maelle is judging your taste, Sophie.]

Pretty much. On the last mission he worried he wouldn't always be enough. That's not like him. Ever since he said that, it's like... I'm aware of all the little cracks that weren't there before.

When we first got here, I thought it would be Verso that felt apart from us. Not Gustave.

[sophielicious]

/... Yeah. Okay. Damn, that does suck. I do relate to him, though. I've been in the same spot.

What you all went through is a very high-stress situation, Maelle. I'm not going to bore you with the brain science of it all, but I can tell you that stress makes you perceive things differently, and information like that? Post-death, which he could do absolutely nothing about? People don't deal well with uncertainty, nor abandonment, either as the abandoned or, in this case, the forced abandonee. Besides, I wouldn't be surprised at all if he feels guilty that he did die and wasn't there with you guys through it.

Just spitballing, though. I have no concrete evidence for any of that./

[maellum]

[That's actually comforting to hear. They're not just all fucked.]

I know he feels guilty. He's apologized for not being there for me. It's not his fault. He said he would understand if I were angry with him for dying, too, which is--it's almost funny if he wasn't... serious.

That's sort of where we're at.

[sophielicious]

/Doy. It doesn't matter if it's his fault or not. Objectively, he wasn't there. That hurts a lot.

So, is avoiding this forever an option and pretending nothing is wrong or? Just asking. I mean, I can tell. But between you guys./

[maellum]

It does hurt a lot. For everyone.

Avoiding it only causes more trouble down the road. We're just sort of at a loss as to how to make it less miserable.

I hate knowing he's in pain.

[sophielicious]

/Time is what you do. Letting time help you slip back into your roles. A nudge here and there. Not forcing, but letting it happen when it does.

Well, he probably hates to know you are in pain, too. Have a little hope with your sad shit, yeah? You guys did promise me proficiency at that./

[maellum]

Yeah. We did. He's always been the one with hope. I would always get a look or a talk when I was too depressing.

[sophielicious]

/Then step up yourself. If he isn't, well. Why not you?/

[maellum]

When he would say things, I'd believe it. I don't know if it's the same coming from your sixteen year old foster sister.

[sophielicious]

/Oh, wow, what was it that he said to me though? 'Her thoughts and opinions matter to me? I ask her advice and I take it?', mmm. Sounds like it might be.

Just do it, Maelle./

[maellum]

[FINE.]

Is your real power probably being right most of the time?

[sophielicious]

/Oh my... HAHAHA, cripes, no! Actually, I think if you said that around here, we'd all literally laugh ourselves to death.

I'm sometimes really, really right, that's all./

[maellum]

I don't know, it feels like it's adding up.

[sophielicious]

/If my ego grows even a little bit more, Etraya is gonna need more square feet.

I'm glad to help./

[maellum]

Thanks. And welcome to Expedition 33's woes. Might as well get you an armband, now.

[sophielicious]

/... An armband?/

[maellum]

An armband. It's part of the uniform.

[sophielicious]

/... Are you trying to adopt me, Maelle?

... Thanks./

[maellum]

Blame Gustave.