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[maellum]

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[cache_coeur]

They know.

[It just doesn’t mean much after generations of death at his mother’s hands, after seeing his father slaughter people they’d loved and broken bread with for years, sometimes lifetimes. Sciel’s heart hurts for every once of them.]


I’m going to bring Verso some dinner and something to drink, and we’ll have an uneventful evening with no complicated questions. Then I’ll see how he’s feeling.

[maellum]

[As usual, Sciel makes it seem simple. Like it only makes sense to bring him dinner and spend time together.

She wishes she felt that way.]

I think he'll appreciate that.

[cache_coeur]

I hope so. What are you hoping to do?

[maellum]

You're looking at it.

[Be useless and sad and probably buried under blankets for the next few days.]

I don't think Verso will want to deal with me anytime soon.

[cache_coeur]

[Oh, pity the child. Sciel squeezes her a little tighter.]

At least you’re moping in a warm bed. He probably slept under a tree last night! And besides, you have to get up and have brunch with me.

[maellum]

I don't really like the thought of him sleeping under a tree, but he deserved it for at least one night. And no brunch for him.

[So there.]

[cache_coeur]

I don’t either, but that’s only because he’s alone.

[It’s fine if the rest of them are clustered around the fire, taking turns between taking watch and curling up in their bed rolls. A world away from the apartment, really.]

Makes me miss when we could at least get him to stay down the hall.

[maellum]

Doubt he'll want to do that now.

[He barely seemed to want to be with them before.]

[cache_coeur]

Well, if that’s true, then let’s cross our fingers Monoco shows up next, so he’ll have some company.

[maellum]

[Monoco won't do much for Maelle missing Verso, but she doesn't say it.]

Yeah. He could use a friend that's not... us.

[cache_coeur]

Mm. He can use all the friends he can get, us included.

[maellum]

[She doesn't know if she can be his friend and it not upset Gustave. It's a painful thought, and she turns enough to snuggle into Sciel, burying her face.]

[cache_coeur]

[Maelle cuddles up, and Sciel take her readily, arms circling tight around her.]

Oh, sweetheart.

[maellum]

[The endearment makes her eyes sting. There's no more tears left, but the ache is enough to hurt her chest.]

I just want Gustave to be happy. I want all of us to be happy. Verso, too.

[cache_coeur]

I know, I know.

[Sciel holds her tight, chin on the crown of her head.]

So many awful things have happened, but that doesn't mean we can't make good things for ourselves in the future, yeah? We can all still have happiness.

[maellum]

I don't know how to do that. Everything I say or do feels... not enough, or wrong. I can't help Gustave and I can't help Verso.

[The Paintress was an easier challenge. Give her a fight and she can handle it, easily. All of these emotions and feelings and complications? Not so much.]

[cache_coeur]

[It's not a completely foreign thing, that feeling of being wrong; there's been moments with Gustave and Lune where she couldn't quite figure out where the disconnect was, what put them on different sides of a conflict none of them actually took up arms for.

She's had more control in that than Maelle has, though. She's made choices.

Sciel breathes out a sigh, sympathetic.]

We'll let you fight a Nevron the size of an apartment building, and take you to dangerous places, and then we fuss over what feels like so much less, hmm? I don't know how we fix this, but I still want to hear what you have to say, no matter what, alright?

[maellum]

[The words are validating, at least in the moment. Sciel listens, and she's not as bristly towards Verso as Gustave. Still, Maelle finds herself hesitating to bring up Verso at all and the knot of feelings she has towards him--especially after that brawl that left Gustave with a broken nose.

She nods against Sciel, face still hidden. She has an adult willing to listen, to talk. Might as well take advantage.]

Do you think I replaced Gustave with Verso?

[cache_coeur]

No. They're two entirely different people. They're different people to you, to your life.

[She runs her fingers through Maelle's hair, smoothing it out.]

Verso did take up some of Gustave's role on the team, that's true, but that's what Expeditioners are supposed to do. And maybe here or there you needed someone shaped like him, just to hold onto what it was like before, even if just for a minute or two. But that's it.

No one could ever be Gustave.

[maellum]

[Maelle nods in agreement, because that's how it feels to her. Verso could never be Gustave. He didn't raise her with love and patience. He didn't die for her. He was simply... someone that listened, even if his attempts to comfort her were clumsy. He meant well despite the omission of truths.]

I don't think Gustave feels that way.

[cache_coeur]

Well, he knows so little about what we went through, after he died. It's hard for us to talk about it, and he's only rarely seen us in the same room as Verso. He's filling in the gaps best he can.

[He's not always right, but he's not always wrong, either. It's just... what it is. He's doing his best with the hand he's been dealt, especially when he could just be angry or withdrawn.

It's tough.]

And feelings can change.

[maellum]

I really, really hope so. I want to be friends with Verso, but I don't know what to do if it upsets Gustave that I spend time with him.

[Maybe she's getting a little ahead of herself, but all she can do is think about how difficult that will be.]

Maybe I should just get Sophie to show him memories or... I don't know. So he can stop imagining that we were having the time of our lives.

[cache_coeur]

You have to make the choices best for you, Maelle. His opinion matters, of course, he loves you more than anything. But it is your life.

[As for Sophie... Sciel isn't so sure about that, and she mulls it over for a heartbeat, still petting Maelle's hair. Some people definitely wouldn't take kindly to their memories being shared, and people have been overcoming their differences and suspicions about each other without psychic mediation.

To say nothing of how Sophie might feel about that.]

I'd leave Sophie out of it. I think you two can bridge this together. All of us can help.

[maellum]

I love him more than anything, too.

[More than herself. She thinks that's why the fact that the Gommage came for her after they did everything "right" doesn't trouble her as much as it should. Death might have been their ticket here, to Etraya. It's been one of the best things to ever happen to her--the first being the day Gustave and Emma decided to take her in.]

How do we do it without making him feel like we're ganging up on him or pushing him?

[cache_coeur]

How do we temper our enthusiasm, you mean?

[She’s teasing, soft as it is, but she’s seriously about that eternal question — how to share without being defensive. Sciel hums a little, pondering.]

I don’t know. When Verso was gone, it was so easy to not talk about him. I wanted to spare Gustave’s feelings, and I have the feeling I may have spooked you out of it, too. Now that he’s here… I think a bit of candidness is a decent start. Just so it’s not this tense, unspoken thing.